why I blame myself for being raped (hint: not because it’s my fault)

why I blame myself for being raped (hint: not because it’s my fault)

“I can’t always say it. The R word. I say “there’s a word? that rhymes with… cassette tape?” I say, “attacked.” If I need to be sure to be absolutely clear I’ll say, “When I say attacked: I mean in my own body, by a man.” I wrote teenaged poems after this happened which featured sex as a kind of horror film. I was the white-bellied fish gasping on the spear, the vessel of sacred fluids with its cork yanked out who now slowly bled out her essence all over the filthy seamed pavement. Trying to accustom myself, I described the rapist as “my lover”. He was my first lover, though he never loved me.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: